Actually what happens is the alarm goes off at 6.45am and I swear about the fact that it can't actually be morning yet. That's on a good day. Often before my alarm goes off one of my youngest children has already come into my room with his most malevolent Donnie Darko eyes and jabbed at me until I can feel the burn, before pressing all the buttons on my phone until it lights up and informing me "see, it says it's morning time".
I use the bathroom and go downstairs. Kettle on, uniforms for the youngest laid on the sofa - because if I let them get changed in their room on a school day I don't see them until 8.25am, when they come downstairs wearing only a pyjama top and ask if I can 'put together this track' or something equally ridiculous.
I make a brew for myself and my partner, and a packed lunch for my 5 year old. I contemplate a beautiful Bento - ahhh - and make the usual ham or cheese and pickle sarnies. Upstairs my partner showers and wakes up the teenagers.
When he gets downstairs he shouts at the youngest 2 to 'get dressed' for the first time of around 12. Our 5 year old every day without fail states he can't get dressed until he's had breakfast and comes into the kitchen to collect cereal or toast, or if he's lucky a breakfast bar and a glass of orange before staring at it for approx. 12 minutes without eating anything. Sometimes his brother joins him, but usually they operate as a tag team, taking it in turns to stare at their breakfast in an effort to cause as much frustration and delay as possible.
By 7.45am hopefully we've already seen at least 2 teenagers, and another returns from their paper round and joins in the competitive bathroom hogging contest. Occasionally this ends in all-out war, but usually someone cries before then and my partner gets to practice his loudest 'because I say so' voice.
I make sure I've at least heard everyone 'be awake' before allowing my partner to escape to work, where he spends 9 hours sleeping in a comfy chair, and occasionally browsing the internet.
I spend the next half hour trying to remain calm, whilst alternating cries of "have you got dressed yet?" and "come on, it's getting late?", whilst trying to find non-existent clean shirts and tights which should have been washed but instead have spent the last few days languishing on a bedroom floor. I pull magic black pens and protractors out of thin air and hopefully know the location of every last bit of homework down the side of a sofa or under the kitchen table.
Most of the teenagers leave somewhere between 8am and 8.35am. I have given up trying to work out exactly when they should leave, how fast they can walk to school, or whether they take lunch or eat it when they get home. They're 16, it's an important lesson for them to be hungry all day while their lunch sweats on the kitchen table.
At 8.33am I tell the 2 little boys they need to put their coats on and discover who hasn't put their socks on. Then we play 'hunt the shoe' for the next 7 minutes maximum. If we exceed this limit then I fetch the wellies.
At 8.40am I leave one teenager still in the house and, whilst ignoring the cries of "my socks aren't right" we walk to school. I carry the coats.
I get home at around 9.15am and have my 20 minutes of peace. I can't actually manage without breakfast, I always eat it, but I choose to wait. I put the kettle on and the first load of washing, tidy the table and sit down with a brew, something to eat and a sense of contentment that another morning is ticked off and we're nearer the weekend.....
I do actually eat breakfast bars, and in fact belVita are my favourite. They are really tasty and don't need a pint of water to wash them down! They're incredibly handy in your bag if you're going straight out, and a bit of a lazy treat at home. I like the Fruit And Fibre ones best, but most of the kids go for the yoghurt crunch.
This post is an entry for #MorningStories Linky Challenge sponsored by belVita Breakfast. Learn more at
www.facebook.com/belVitaUK. I was sent the breakfast bars above to try.
I started reading the first paragraph and thought was true (well you know how gullible I am! ;) ) and I was so jealous about your cup of coffee in bed!! But actually, your mornings sound like mine with the little ones. I can't function without breakfast either but also have mine once I get back from the school run so that I can sit and eat it in peace!
ReplyDelete:D It's so much nicer when you can relax and no-one's needing you to do everything in a hurry!
DeleteAw I wish I could eat my breakfast in peace, I eat standing up taking a mouthful between making pack lunches, or sorting out bags!! My morning is hectic but can't imagine how much more yours must be!! You deserve the peace!! I love BelVita too and it's so handy at work when I don't have time for brek in the morning or as a mid morning snack.
ReplyDeleteI used to get up especially early to have time for breakfast, but I was constantly interrupted and like you eating odd mouthfuls while doing something else - I love that bit of peace :)
Deletei think you need to come to my house. They cant disturb me until 8am! lol! I love the yoghurt crunch, they are nice!
ReplyDelete8am!!! Some days a couple of mine have to have left by then! You wait until they're teenagers! :D
DeleteHa ha! Wouldn't we all love our breakfast routine to be like your first paragraph? Certainly sounds hectic, I struggle with just two to get ready some mornings.
ReplyDeleteIt really is manic. I pity anyone who unexpectedly turns up between 7.30 and 8.30 :D
DeleteYou had me fooled for the first paragraph! I only have one to get ready, and my morning is not that dissimilar, and how many times do you have to ask kids to put socks on??
ReplyDeleteIf I could glue their socks on all week I would. And why do we by 10 pairs f socks, yet there is only ever 1 odd on clean? :)
DeleteI also read the first paragraph and thought it was true, slightly jealous mind you. I only have one to master in the mornings now, and thankfully it's Hubby and I working as a tag team not the kids.
ReplyDeleteOnly another 9 or 10 years an I think I'll be completely absolved of any responsibility....I'm jealous you outnumber your small children in the mornings! :D
DeleteAh yes, my boys' socks are never 'right' either ("they have DUST in them!")...
ReplyDeleteBreakfast staring and bathroom hogging - this is what I have to look forward to? *sigh*
Oh yes, and plenty more besides, but I'm leaving the rest for now as little surprises for you.... :p
DeleteSounds like my typical mornings. I'm in is much rush I forgot what breakfast actually is.
ReplyDelete:D It's really an afterthought for me now. I wouldn't dream of trying to sit down for 5 minutes peace until they're all gone!
DeleteHere's to those moments of peace where we look after ourselves so that we can look after the children better. Commenting for myself and on behalf of BritMums and thanking you for taking part
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely - it's the breaks that make our days possible :D Thank you for commenting Kate.
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