No-one wants to have to tell their innocent, wide-eyed little people anything bad. We don't want to crush a single one of their dreams, but death is our only inevitability and they will encounter it, most likely completely unexpectedly and at a time when you aren't in a good position to have to try and explain it to them.
When their loved one dies your child will exhibit all kinds of unusual behaviour. Every example I give in this post, we have been told is absolutely normal and to be expected, so hopefully it will be helpful and maybe save you asking or worrying yourself.
Children fall into several distinct groups, and you will see that very clearly in their behaviour and what they say:
- Children under 2 will generally not be able to appreciate what has happened. I didn't have children under 2 at the time of our loss, so I won't talk about them in this post.
- Children between around 2 and 7 will be able to grasp an idea of death and permanence.
- 7 to 17 year olds will all behave in much the same way, and it is only once they are over this age that they react in the same way as adults.
When we were first told this we thought it unlikely, but we did see that in our experience at least, it was true.
