Happy Garyversary - 2 Years!

Staggeringly it's exactly 2 years since Gary turned up on my doorstep, howling and terrified and unable to pee, but we gloss over that nowadays. I've discovered a lot about cats in the last 2 years, or maybe it's just Gary, I have no idea and never intend to. As it's his Garyversary, and the internet saved my cat, I thought I'd share what I've learnt.

1. Cats can sleep anywhere. Gary has his luxury Amazon Prime Cat bed at the end of our bed, and a smaĺler, cosier box on the floor for when he doesn't want to risk being kicked in the head at night. He will however sleep anywhere. Window ledge, under the bed, on a cushion, clothes line, bag of marbles, IN the LEGO box. Whatever cats are made of, it's some sort of pain resistant cloud magic in a loose bag, and if we can harness it then we can be pain-free millionaires. Forget Tesla, this is where the real future lies.

2. Having a cat and a blog does not mean you'll instantly be inundated with offers of free food and toys. 2 years and not a single review of a 3-storey cat hotel. Gary prefers his luxury cat bed and isn't really a climber, but that's beside the point, my youngest spends ages looking at them and trying to justify the expense. To be fair I reviewed the G-Tech Air-Ram on his behalf, so I won at least.

3. Cats want to go out, in, out, in, out. I don't know if it's the same for all cats, but since we've started letting Gary out for a bit during the day, he mainly streaks off down the garden, then walks back and sits beside the door meowing until someone can be bothered to walk to the kitchen to let him back in.

4. Cats love telly, but images in mirrors are invisible. Gary especially enjoys shows with flocks of birds, or anything that looks like a bird. His favourite piece of telly ever was a man dropping a tissue. He watched the screen ready to pounce for over an hour, but sadly the tissue didn't make a second appearance.

5.Cats want to guard you while you pee, but luckily don't expect the same in return. Gary at least however wants me to guard him while he eats. This is very boring but luckily my sense of smell is very poor. I usually play a game on my phone and pretend I'm watching for around 15 seconds. As long as I nod at him before I leave he doesn't mind too much, although he does tut a bit.

6. Cats scratch more when they are playing than when they are annoyed and it really hurts. A surprise Kato style cat attack is not my idea of playful, anything that involves blood and Savlon spray usually isn't. Also that clapping thing where they grab your face on both sides. It's just not the same as when old ladies do it and although seemingly impossible, it's even less pleasant.

7. Cats won't eat the same thing twice in a row. I know this, it's science, so please explain why Gary will eat the rabbit's Crunchy Nuggets all day long if he gets chance? For clarification Crunchy Nuggets are a thing, not a polite name for rabbit chocs.

8. Cats really have 9 lives. Aside from the whole unable to pee and teeny willy thing, Gary has fallen out of the upstairs window twice (who makes that mistake twice?), and managed to break into a room which had been bombed for fleas overnight, then knocked something over so that he couldn't re-open the door. Genius.

9. That reminds me. Fleas. I'm not saying any more, I'll cry.

10. Cats don't like tablets. They'll eat spiders, grass, cardboard, moth wings, carnations and hair, but meaty flavoured cat tablets are a step too far. If you can master the 'throw it directly down the hatch' technique, your career as a hand model may not yet be over.

11. Cats love singing. Every night when I sing my boys a bedtime song (don't laugh), Gary comes into the room, lies on the floor and listens. Actually now I think of it, this could be a comment on the quality of my singing... Ignore this one.

12. Cats like balls and rolling things and scrunched up paper. They love drones, although they are rightly scared of them. They particularly love Hexbugs, but not as much as rabbits, for whom the aroma of warm Hexbug somewhere in the vicinity is irresistible. If they ever form a team, the Hexbugs are doomed.

13. A cat coughing up a furball is almost as disgusting as the actual furball.

14. Cats have really wonky faces when they first wake up. This equates to approximately 83% of the time you are awake in the same room as them. I actually wouldn't recognise Gary in a line up.

14. Despite the £2k vet bills, the worry, the fleas, worming tablets, pee on the lino and the rest of it, it turns out I can love a cat. Just the one cat though, I'm still not a crazy cat lady....

Huge thank you to Sim as ever. She drove us back and forth to the vet and demanded another option. Without her there would be no Gary. She doesn't even like cats either.

If you are a fan of cats, you can read more about Gary in these posts:

Gary the cat review.
How I came to love Gary the cat
My year with Gary the cat