3 Years With Gary The Cat - and still not a crazy cat lady!

Astoundingly it's been 3 years since we won the world's most expensive free cat. Well, 3 years and 2 months, I'm a bit late on this post. I'm all over this cat thing now though. Ask me anything about cats and I can make up an answer that sounds plausible.

I know people on the internet like cats, so you may not have heard of Gary before, you might just have clicked on because there was a cat picture. Here's Gary's backstory and it's really because of the internet that he's here. He also wouldn't be here if he hadn't turned up at the home of someone who is ridiculously soft, and despite a previous loathing of cats, took him in.

Without the internet we wouldn't have known that there was a cure (scalpel) for Gary's sensitive genetic ailment (very very tiny penis) and it would have been curtains. Since his operation Gary's health has been brilliant and he can pee whenever he wants, thankfully usually outside or occasionally still in the bath. Annoyingly he's stopped going to the toilet in the toilet, although it was always a bit disturbing to walk in on him - especially if he was reading the paper.

Gary still feels he owes us for saving him and maintains his vow to protect us from all danger. As yet we haven't been attacked by lions or indeed any other predator, so he's an excellent guardian. He still stands by the bathroom door whenever I'm in there, but his usual sentry spot is under a hedge in the garden. In Summer he's invisible amongst the leaves. Gary's a cat and isn't aware of seasons, so in Winter to protect his feelings we pretend we still can't see him.

When I first took Gary in, I was under the misguided illusion that cats only lived for about 5 years. It turns out they can live for ages, especially if they are an indoor cat. I think going outside cats only reach 20 if you can successfully teach them the Green Cross Code.

Although Gary does now go outside regularly, it still scares him and sometimes he needs a hide under a bed to get over it. Lions probably. Mainly Gary goes out for about 90 minutes each time. I'm not sure what he does when he isn't standing under the hedge, but football is very popular around here. If he's courting then at some point someone is going to be disappointed.

I have learnt repeatedly for the past couple of years that cats are ready with a surprise strike at any moment. They lie in wait in plain sight, usually across the 6th step up or straddling the entire hallway, and mostly at night or when you are carrying something big. That telltale soft, warm smushy feeling when you put down your foot pretty much guarantees you're about to attempt an unexpected double-jump, in an effort to avoid crushing him. You'll strain at least 3 groin muscles and the cat will maybe stretch a bit if he can be bothered. Cats really need those 9 lives.

If you don't amuse them often enough then cats will change tactic and sneak up behind you. Cats aim for the head and are permanently overly-confident about their own jumping abilities. Always sit with your back to the wall because they're quite heavy when they're hanging from your skin by 3 claws and it's better not to offer such a large, unguarded target.

Gary has an Achilles heel which I imagine it's true of all cats. He does love that magical herb, Catnip, but he really cannot resist his cat snacks. He's got a favourite brand and he recognises the sound of the packet being opened. It's hellish when someone opens something else that sounds similar. It takes 0.3 seconds, roughly, for Gary to reach the packet from any location in the world, as long as there aren't any closed doors or other impassable objects. It's great when you want him to come in at night.

I can see just how much my youngest especially loves Gary and likes nothing better than harassing him for an hour or two sitting with him on his lap. I can see how much Gary loves us too. He spends time sleeping on everyone's bed every evening, and when my youngest has a bad dream, Gary will go and sleep in the hall by his bedroom door. Ready and able to keep the night time monsters away...

I admit defeat. I get why people like cats now. I understand how it works and I can barely remember a time when I didn't have a cardboard box bed at the end of my bed, or was allowed to lay in past 7.30am on a Sunday without having to go downstairs and open the back door to let him out for a pee.

I'm still not becoming a crazy cat lady though. 3 years and we still only have 1 cat. I think that's proof enough...

If you like cats or animals called Gary then you might like my other Gary the cat posts: 

Gary The Cat Review
How I Came To Love Gary The Cat (Sponsored post)
My Year With Gary
Happy Garyversary 2 Years
My Pet Story (Sponsored post)

Gary is a rescued pet. He was quite insistent we rescued him and despite all attempts we were unable to find his previous owner. All of our pets are rescued. If you are considering sharing your home with an animal, please consider rescuing one who needs a home.
P.S. Gary does not read. At least not when I've been there, you can never be 100% sure.