That wasn't the plan.... Umbilical Hernia Episode 3.

If you follow my blog or know me then you'll know I had a second hernia mesh surgery on 10th April, placed above the last one. It was going to be great. I'd spend a week or so lounging on the sofa hernia-free, watching TV and reading books, and slowly come back to blogging over the following week in a nice, laid back style. Few easy blog posts, couple of giveaways. It's not happened. I honestly never make advance plans and this is time I'm very grateful.

The surgery went well, my surgeon and the team did a really tidy job, I went home the same day and my 8inch long scar will be a beautiful silver line before I know it, but the darn thing just wouldn't stop bleeding. A week after the op I was on antibiotics and starting to feel some nasty pain a little way from the actual wound.

Roll on another week and I had it confirmed by my actual surgeon. My body discovered a gap and filled it with that lovely straw coloured serum fluid stuff, causing a hard lump - a seroma. This has been very slowly dripping and has been keeping my wound from healing, but also interfering with my inside parts and it feels like someone jabbing a bony finger deep into my chest every time I move. A pocket of fluid makes you imagine soft and squishy. This is like a torpedo. Worse still from where I'm sitting (and I'm currently always sitting) is that the front end grinds against my skin from inside whenever I move.

I keep being reminded by friends to 'take it easy', but honestly it really, really hurts and I'm just not that much of a martyr. I'm a woman who gave birth to my last child on the living room floor without even gas and air. I've previously had stitches without any pain relief. A small pouch of fluid my body created has beaten me. I've spent days doing NOTHING, literally nothing.

Often a seroma doesn't hurt at all and you might not even notice it (apparently), but mine is just in a really unfortunate place. I get all the luck. Add it to all of the swelling I've still got from the surgery itself and my abdomen is a great shape. No really, it is. It's kind of a diamond shaped ball with a flatter bit on top and lots of corners.

As I sat in the doctors and various departments of the hospital this week, I had a lot of time to think. I watched people and staff come and go, and I was so grateful for the NHS. I was so grateful that we were free to just worry about whether I'd be admitted, or get an infection. or when my seroma will decide to empty itself. We don't have to worry that at some point we'd have to tell the medical staff to "stop now, I've run out of money".

I'm grateful that however much it hurts, seroma almost always go away by themselves within a month or so, and cause no long-lasting effects. I'm grateful that my physical pain and inability to do anything is temporary. I can't be bitter or annoyed really, there are so many people who have pain this bad every single day and can't see an end to it.

I think as well that I have to be glad that out of 3 hernia operations, it's the only time this has happened, and my actual hernia repair will have benefitted massively by my lack of movement while the mesh begins to bed in.

I'm also grateful yet again for our big kids and our friends, who have scooped us up and looked after us, and made everything possible, and reminded me in no uncertain terms that humanity isn't yet lost. I'm a lucky woman indeed.

And I'll be even luckier when this seroma empties itself out - you'll probably hear me whooping from there... In the meantime, please be patient, and ignore anything that looks like it was written by a crazed madwoman on no sleep and prescription painkillers. I'm terrified I'll start posting cat videos. I almost posted a cute gif yesterday, but luckily was thwarted by nodding off in the middle of what I was doing. Told you I was lucky...

Yesterday was World Meningitis Day and the theme was #AfterMeningitis. My partner was there to hold my hand at the hospital this week because almost 6 years ago he survived Meningitis (I blogged the whole thing). He also has the NHS to thank for his life. We are both lucky...

Thanks to Meningitis Now for the image - share it with anyone that you like.

You might save their life.